Q. I have to tell an employee that it’s likely he’s going to be let go, partly because of performance and partly because of budget problems, but I don’t want to be cruel or cause him to demoralize the rest of the staff. How do I do it?—Robert W.

A. Handling bad-news messages is probably one of the toughest tasks you'll face as a

manager. But, with a little forethought, you can make the best of something that's really quite negative. You can’t sugar-coat the truth, but you can help the employee keep his or her dignity—and save face.

Start With a Positive

You'll win half the battle if you hold your meeting only when you have the right attitude toward the employee. Look for the best things you can find in that person, and keep them in mind as you prepare the message. Assume that the employee really tries do the right thing, that he or she isn't a vicious, conniving, lazy sluggard who wants to get away with something. That way, the tone of your message will improve and you'll have a better chance of keeping the employee on your side, instead of against you. I found these four steps help me deliver unwelcome news, and cushion the jolt to make the employee more receptive to the message:

Say something positive

like a compliment (carefulness, past record, etc.) or a thank you for something (even if it's just cooperation).

Share the facts

honestly and politely, as you would to a partner or friend. Explain your position and the reasons for your action.

Show you understand

the difficult position the person is in. If you can, be constructive, and show how the decision may be really in the person’s best interest.

Share any good news,

but don't make it too positive (so you won't mislead) and

offer suggestions or help. When you can, show how you agree with the person’s objections.

Here’s how the four steps might work your situation:

Say something positive:

“Florence, your help setting up the team meetings has been a big help. You showed you can plan well, and people like your friendliness.”

Share the facts:

“At the same time (never say but or however—these words cancel out whatever you just said), you know we’ve talked several about your attendance, and the difficulty you’ve had in meeting several of your goals. It’s because we respect the positive contributions you’ve made that I need to tell you as early as possible that, because of budget problems, we’ll probably have to cut our expenses drastically, and there’s a good chance you’ll be one of the ones we have to lay off in the near future.”

Show you understand:

“I know how difficult this must be for you, because it could cause some financial hardship for you and your family. And while this may be hard to understand now, you may find that in the long run that this is actually a good thing to happen, because you may find a job that’s more in tune with your talents and personality. Another way you can look at this in a positive light is by seeing it as an opportunity to grow, and correct your tendency to procrastinate, not be punctual, and not to commit to reaching your goals. It’s time like this that a person can step back , change directions, and develop different work skills.”

Share any good news:

“It’s because we think so highly of you in so many other areas, that we want to help you as much as we can. We’re going to give you time to look for a job quietly, and provide any support we can. We’ll give you extra personal time off for interviews—as long as it isn’t excessive. And we’ll work with you to prepare a recommendation that will focus on your strengths, not on the problems we’ve talked about.

For example, we can emphasize your ability to plan and get along well with people. And if we’re asked to comment on any problems we’ve had, we can say something like, “It’s not our policy to say negative things about our employees. Florence was one of several people we had to lay off because of budget problems, and the need to downsize quickly.”

Let them vent.

Now it’s time to let the employee talk. You’re likely to get objections and, where they’re valid, admit it. So deal with the objections, then repeat your reasons for the action by repeating or rephrasing the first three steps. It’s important that the employee not deny the problem or avoid dealing with it.

Taking this action is never easy, but with openness and kindness, you can help the employee adjust to a new future with another company.