Q. I’m polite to customers, even when they’re rude or short with me. But they still seem a little distant, and my co-workers are getting pats on the back for their customer skills. What can I do to get more kudos? —Elizabeth T.

A. Elizabeth, you’ve hit the #1 opportunity for building a business: providing outstanding customer service. Often there’s little difference in many products and services (banks, shoe stores, and food markets, for example). So what makes a customer continue to go to one supplier instead of another? Feeling good—great— about their buying experience. When you can delight a customer, you’ve solved the problem.

Greet Your “Friend”

How do you greet your customers—whether they’re walking in the door, phoning, e-mailing, or writing? You must SMILE easily and openly. (Think, “This person pays my salary!”) This goes for your internal customers, too—the people you work with. Look directly into their eyes as you talk to them—as you would a friend you really like.

I remember a client who asked me to train his retail service staff in customer service. I emphasized the importance of the friendly greeting, and suggested he smile more often (he rarely smiled) to show his staff what he wanted, since his people would follow his lead. We held the program and practiced smiles, warm greetings and the rest of the strategies. Six months later I contacted him for a follow-up program.

When I entered his store, I noticed that his salespeople still weren’t smiling or friendly—and he greeted me that way when I walked into his office. He asked me what new programs I had. When I said that we should go back to the basics, he resisted. I couldn’t convince him that he should model the behavior, and that he couldn’t build his business unless he and his people made customers feel welcome. That was five years ago. His business hasn’t grown, and his people still don’t smile. He’s probably still looking for a magic pill to make it happen—as long as he doesn’t have to smile.

Show Your Delight

Talk and act enthusiastically. You can’t sell a thing without enthusiasm. Ask each customer how you can help—and mean it. Listen carefully to what the customer tells you. Look for opportunities to solve their problems. Ask what happened. What do they need? If there’s a problem, ask what should have happened? Identify what went wrong, and suggest ways to fix it. Ask if they need anything else. And look for ways to go above and beyond what they expect—so they’ll be surprised and delighted with you.

Banker’s House Calls

I know of a bank in a small town that works hard to get—and keep—its customers.

They’ll open early or stay late—even for one person who can’t make it during the regular hours. A teller or assistant manager will actually drive to a shut-in customer’s house to take a deposit or cash a Social Security check. They have successfully fought off the local branches of other, larger banks in the town who don’t give this kind of service.

Invite customers to return by saying something like, “I hope I’ll see you again soon,” or

“Please come back when we can help you again,” instead of mumbling, “Have a nice day.”

If you’re really delighted to see and help a customer, you’ll find plenty of ways to show it.