Fire Them With Kindness

Q. I’m in a tough position. I have to terminate an employee—for just cause—but I need the confidence and skills to do it in a way that won’t trigger retaliation from him, or long-term resentment from my staff. What do I do? —Jim B.

A. You have three issues: First, just cause. Make sure you have a clear job

description, specific goals, and reasonable expectations that you communicated

to the employee—in writing. Then you need a written record of at least two meetings you had with the person: At the first meeting you presented a formal written warning, which followed a verbal warning. You should also have dates and topics on the positive coaching you provided before the verbal warning.

At the second meeting you documented the unacceptable performance, with the formal, written notice of termination to take place unless the performance wasn’t corrected by a specific date. At this third and final meeting, you need a witness—your own supervisor or someone from HR—or both. And your must document (event, date, time, witnesses) any unacceptable performance since the second meeting.

Build Your Confidence

Give yourself positive reinforcement for what you have to do—and let your

behaviors show it:

• Admit you’ve done your best to save this employee. You provided resources, positive reinforcement and coaching. The employee either couldn’t—or wouldn’t—meet the performance expectations. That’s not your problem now.

• Face any fears you have about people and their opinions. Analyze the fear; take action to overcome it permanently; keep busy practicing your new confidence.

Now, The Meeting

Choose a place that’s private, and give yourself plenty of time for the meeting—probably at least an hour. Try to do it at the end of the day, when most of the other employees have left. If you expect violence, aggressive defensiveness, or immediate retaliation, have someone at the meeting with you: your supervisor, someone from HR, or Security.

Cushion the jolt by saying something positive: “John, you often have a lot

of energy when you work, and you’re well liked here.” Now transition quickly and come right to the point. “At the same time, your overall performance has continued to deteriorate, as we discussed at our two previous meetings. I’m sorry we have to take the last step, and end your employment here, but we’d like to be as helpful to you as we can.”

You’ll probably get some immediate anger or defensive behavior, so let the person vent, as long as he or she doesn’t become violent or abusive.

Briefly review the specifics of what let up to this dismissal, and then offer positive suggestions: “We’ll provide advice and support while you look for a new position. When we receive requests for references, we typically tell only dates of employment and pay rate. If pressed, we’ll talk about your good points, and say only that this wasn’t the right job for you.”

Review the severance package. Then try to help rebuild the employee’s self image: “John, you have many fine qualities: you’re punctual, you’re… etc. You just didn’t have the right mix of skills we need—accuracy and productivity, for example—which we’ve discussed. I know you’ll do better in your next job; and we’ll help all we can.” You might even supply a written summary of the support you’ll provide—such as outplacement counseling; use of an

office; resume preparation; continuation of benefits for a specific period; conversion of benefits to his personal account. Finish the meeting by summarizing the next steps the company will take, and thank the employee for understanding the situation. Then escort the employee out of the building.

Desperate Workplace Dads?

Chicago attorney David Callahan recently started his day by beginning a 7:40 a.m. voice mail message with: “I hope this isn’t too early to call, but I have to go to something at my son’s school.” He’s not alone. According to Wall Street Journal

writer Hilary Stout, more and more workplace dads are juggling career, kids and home responsibilities. Firms like his, Kirkland and Ellis, now offer helpful information and lunchtime forums to deal with workplace issues. Many are attended by more men that women—a sign of men’s need to blend career and home responsibilities. Some suggestions on how do handle them:

• Organize each day, week and month into blocks of time to handle all the

tasks well. And involve your family in the planning.

• Get your boss’s support for the workplace part of your plan—and be

willing to adapt it to meet your job responsibilities.

• Limit home and kids’ events to maintain a healthy balance with your job.

• Take stress-relieving time out just for yourself—to keep your focus, and

your energy high.