Q. Sometimes I think I’m “losing it” with the pressure I’m under. I like my job and company, so I don’t want to leave. But the pace and deadlines are killing me—and I’m losing important time for myself and my family. —Steve D.

A. Steve, you’re not alone. There’s more pressure in the workplace today than ever before—in virtually every job. But there are still good ways to handle the pressure—assuming you work for a good company, and don’t want to change jobs. (Ask people in other companies what their pressure level is like. Because of downsizing, competition, the lagging economy and several other factors, most employees are dealing with high levels of stress.)

Controlling the pressures in your life and work starts with your values—what’s really important to you. Most people work—and live—best when there’s a good balance

between work, family, and personal interests. If any of these three focus points grab too much of your time from the others, you won’t enjoy life very much. Often, today’s job pressures and work demands are often beyond what’s healthy, and work (sometimes just keeping your job) demands a bigger chunk of time than ever before.

Consider three key ways to manage personal and job pressures and put your life in better balance: release the pressures; re-direct them; strengthen your skills.

Release The Pressures

Try to delegate some of your tasks. As long as you suffer in silence, no one knows you’re struggling. You may get even more to do. Sometimes delegation can mean just swapping tasks with another person—but it still helps.

Cut low-priority tasks. The 80/20 rule says that 80 percent of our productivity comes from 20 percent of our time, and 80 percent of what we do contributes to only 20 percent of our productivity. Look for the tasks that aren’t contributing much to the bottom line, and either cut them back or eliminate them. Several times throughout the day, ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now helping me meet my goals?” If the answer is “No,” then stop doing that task.

Learn to say “No.” Practice ways of saying “No” politely, calmly, and respectfully. (“I can see that’s important to you. At the same time, I have on my plate right now. Let’s talk about other options you might have.”)

Learn to laugh at conflict before it becomes resentment or anger. Laughter is good medicine, and it’ll relieve much of your pressure.

Plan a better way to handle the next pressured event you encounter. Practice possible responses well before you have to deal with the event

Learn several relaxation techniques you can practice both on and off the job. Taking “Power Pauses”—five minutes of quiet time and reflection— frequently throughout the day can do wonders to relieve stress.

Take time to enjoy your hobby—or develop a new one.

Exercise vigorously three times a week for at least 20 minutes each time. Swimming is ideal; walking fast is next best.

Spend at least 15 minutes alone each day—for quiet time and relaxation.

Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, rest, and time for family and yourself.

Strengthen Your Skills

Take a good look at your skills and abilities, and compare them with the skills needed to do your job. If there’s a gap between the two, take courses, read books, or get coaching from experts to get those skills.

Put yourself in situations that play to your strengths. For example, if you’d rather be a technical specialist than a manager, don’t take jobs where you have to supervise others. If you’re in the wrong slot now, look for ways to get into one that’s better suited for you.

Set goals to improve skills. A failure to plan is really a plan to fail. List what you’d like to change—or accomplish—and create action steps with performance deadlines.

Re-Direct the Pressure

Focus more on your success, your energy, and the actions that make you successful, instead of worrying or feeling sorry for what you’re not doing well.

Enjoy the NOW in your life. You can’t do a thing about the past and little about the future. The NOW in your life is a gift—maybe that’s why it’s called the “present."

Look for the plus side of each problem or challenge. What’s the opportunity for you? How can you benefit from this difficult experience?

Focus on developing solutions instead of struggling with problems.

Say positive things about yourself and other people in a 4:1 ratio of positive to negative. Make a list of the negative, discouraging thoughts you have and replace them with positive ones.