Workplace Power: How to Use Yours

Q. Yesterday at the end of a meeting, a co-worker described the facilitator as being remarkably powerful. He led the meeting well, but didn’t act in a way that suggests “power” as I understand it: commanding voice; quick decisions; forceful way of dealing with an issue. Is there another way to be “powerful” I should consider? —Wayne N.

A. Having and using power is shown in many ways. We often think of someone’s power in a combative sense: an executive’s ruining a career; or a boss who puts people down ruthlessly; TV police detectives roughing up a suspect.

I think we confuse the abuse of power with the many ways we can use power successfully.

I first learned this lesson when my oldest boy was 12 years old. I’d called home to check on something, and we had a good conversation. I thought I’d ended it when I said, “OK, see you later.” He said OK Dad.” For some reason I didn’t hang up the phone right away, but could hear Rick on the other end. I said, “You can hang up now, Rick.” He said, “You can hang up, Dad.” I said, “Rick, good-bye.” He said, “Good bye, Dad.” I started laugh and said “C’mon, Rick, hang up.” “No Dad, you hang up.” This went on for a few more seconds, with both of us laughing. But I realized that my young son had discovered he had power over me.

Some great insights into workplace power come from Daniel Robin, of Daniel Robin Associates (abetterworkplace.com) in his web-site article, Hidden Sources of Power at Work:

The greatest power comes from collaboration … from skillfully going inside our differences and working cooperatively toward building something better than we had at the start. The key is to use those forms of power that balance your approach: to create simultaneously sustainable work relationships and the desired results, with the least amount of effort.

Of the many types and uses of power, the ones that bring up fear, anger, or harsh judgments usually involve the use of overt force (win-lose tactics) or are covert, cutthroat, competitive and ultimately destructive. Although it’s human nature to have destructive urges, particularly when confronted by other people’s misuse of power, there’s little point in giving power away if nothing comes of it.

Do you give power away?

There’s a sharp but subtle difference between giving away power and sharing what power you have. If I give away my power – perhaps by acting in haste due to emotional hijacking, or by failing to act courageously due to fear and "analysis paralysis"– then nobody really benefits. When I share power, I also share my legitimacy and my ability to get things done.

Here are outline seven potent forms of power, summarized below, that are subtler and often overlooked.

1. The Power of Collaboration

It is really important to be able to collaborate with people who are unlike you. If two people are too similar, think alike, value the same things, have the same great ideas ... then one of them is probably unnecessary.

2. The power of crystal-clear focus on the desired result.

Clear focus on the end goal magnetizes and motivates those who can see their role it. This doesn’t mean just knowing the general direction and having a sense of the next few steps to get there It means having a complete picture of the place you’d like to arrive at– and who is going there with you – before taking step one. Ask questions like: What do we want? How would we know we’re there? What would it look like, sound like, and feel like once we are there?

3. Acceptance.

his is non-judgmental, unconditional, peaceful acceptance of "what is." This is similar to surrender, or selectively and strategically abandoning one’s strangle-hold on what’s yet to be in favor of aligning with the flow of nature, and the path of less resistance.

4. Flexibility.

Flexibility lets us be change-adept, able to leap to action or sit and design an approach through careful analysis and assessment of "what is." The person with the most options and greatest flexibility ultimately has the most control. There’s nothing quite as dangerous as a person with only one right answer.

5. Intuition.

This is the power of instinctively knowing, then ignoring, rational evidence to the contrary: following your gut.

6. Self-awareness.

This is knowing yourself, being able to witness yourself as if someone were holding up a mirror so you could see clearly how you are operating.

7. The power of play and renewal.

Sometimes it’s more powerful in the long run to sit back and have a good laugh, throw open a "stress release valve" and release the cycles of tension. Pay attention to collaborators or employees who may need to focus on something else for a while. The wisdom here is what Covey called "Sharpening the saw."