Q. I’m becoming involved with a co-worker and I’m concerned about possible repercussions from other employees or management. I’ve worked hard to build my career here and don’t want this to hurt it. Are there guidelines I should know about? It’s not something I can talk openly about at work.. —Tony H.

A. You have good reason to be concerned, but if you handle the relationship professionally, it probably won’t be a problem. And you’re in plenty of company. Julie Z. Rosenberg, reporting the results of an Office Romance Survey by Vault.com, says that nearly 50 percent of all respondents say they’ve been involved in an office romance. As one employer put it, "When you work with hundreds of young, talented, energetic people, it's bound to happen." And with workweeks routinely stretching beyond 50 hours a week, employees have less time to look outside the office. Rosenberg adds an interesting finding: more managers than employees, at 58 and 44 percent, respectively, report that they've had office romances.

An online survey of more than 19,000 people conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine found that, statistically, 53 percent of intimate employee relationships end within one year and 84 percent end within five years. So the majority of intimate employee relationships will break up, with the potential to cause some degree of disruption within the company.

Whether there’s risk for your involvement may depend mainly on where your new friend

ranks on the organization chart as compared to you. If you’re both on the same level, and in different departments, most companies don’t seem to mind, as long as the relationship (or the end of it) doesn’t affect anyone’s work (allegations of inappropriate behavior on the job or conflicts of interest.) Both work in the same department? More problems. One works for the other? Definitely a problem—and one that must be dealt with fairly quickly—usually by an organization change or a position transfer. And don’t even try to pretend you can keep it quiet. Almost everyone knows what’s going on.

A romance between two people in the same department may not be disruptive at the time; however, if the two people break up and still have to work with each other, the results can be a disaster.

Some companies quietly discourage office relationships, but three out of four human resource professionals and nearly six out of ten executives say their companies don't have formal policies forbidding them, according to a new study from the Society of Human Resource Management and CareerJournal.com. Of the firms that restrict office romances, many write policies for workers in "direct reporting relationships" with their significant others. In many cases, those employees are required to disclose their relationship to a superior and transfer to separate departments.

"Telling people they can't date at work doesn't change anything," says Elizabeth du Fresne, an employment-law attorney with Steel Hector & Davis in Miami. "Employees will date; they'll just lie about it. And then everyone else will know about it except management."

Here are some guidelines that may help you make good office-romance choices:

Keep It Quiet

• Keep the relationship private, and don’t talk about it at work. Most employees

don’t like to hear co-workers talk about their wives or husbands; that also applies to

office relationships—maybe even moreso.

• Decide if you and your co-worker can stay out of each other’s way at work. Once the relationship looks like it’s becoming serious, you both should look for ways to gain distance from each other during work hours.

• Agree on guidelines for conduct at work. And stick with the guidelines.

• If either of you is married, and you see an office romance starting to bloom, beware! You’re really asking for trouble—both on and off the job. Either build or end the first relationship before you start a second. This is tough advice, but it’s important, and something you should respect.

Far from frowning upon it, many observers believe romance can actually benefit companies by adding dynamism and energy to the workplace. Lisa Maniero, a management professor at Fairfield University in Fairfield, Conn., and co-author of Office Romance: Love, Power and Sex in the Workplace, observes: "Much to my surprise, I found people involved in office romance were more interested in their work, more motivated, more energized, more creative, and extra productive because they didn't want to get criticized by their peers that the romance was causing a falloff in productivity."

Another plus: A poll by the American Management Association showed that about half the romances with office colleagues led to marriage or a long-term relationship. On the other hand, why date a coworker when you can date all their friends? The math is better, and you avoid potential career problems. Either way, best wishes with your choice.