Writing An Ending They Won’t Forget

Q. A few weeks ago you gave advice on how to grab attention in letters and memos.

Do you have any tips on endings? I end all my memos with, “Thanks,” and I could use a few more options. —Tom B.

A. One of the hardest skills to master in writing good letters and memos is to know how to stop writing--gracefully and effectively. It’s your closing that the reader will most likely remember best, because it's the last idea you present. That's why it pays to close your letter or memo effectively.

Say Thanks

Saying “Thanks” still works pretty well. And if “Please” is still the single most important word in the English language, “Thank you,” is the most important phrase. Say thanks often to show your appreciation to your reader:

OK:

“Our department will benefit greatly from your talk."

Better:

“Thank you for your generous offer to talk to our people. They'll gain much for the experience, and so will I.

Ask for Action

A frequent mistake in business correspondence is not letting our reader know what we want—what we’re asking for. Good salespeople know that they have to ask for the order or they probably won't get it. Here are some ways you can ask for action:

• “May I have an interview with you within the next two weeks?”

• “May I send you Widget 24 today, so you can take advantage of the discount?”

• “Can we have a decision to buy the software by Friday, June 6?”

Make Action Easy

People hate to work, and will avoid anything that takes effort. When you ask for action, it has to be easy for the reader:

• "Just initial your approval at the bottom of this memo. I’ll take it from there."

• Betty, you don’t have to do anything to approve this. Unless I hear otherwise

from you by Friday Noon, I’ll take this memo as approval to go ahead. Thanks.”

• Just check any box that shows the items you want, and mail it back to me. We

do the rest.”

Be Positive

Anything negative will weaken your argument and may force your reader to reject your request. Nearly anything you want say can be expressed positively. Tell your reader what you want, not what you don’t want:

Negative:

"I'm sorry we couldn't be more helpful in answering your questions."

Positive:

“I'm glad we could help you answer the questions."

Negative:

“I hope this hasn't caused you any inconvenience."

Better:

“Thanks for taking the time to tell us about your proposal.”

Negative:

“We apologize for the mistake. It won't happen again."

Positive:

“We're glad you told us about your experience. We're

now developing a new system to keep our quality at the high level you’re

accustomed to.”

Negative:

“We can’t start the project until you approve.”

Positive:

“We can start the project within one day after you approve it. Just

initial this memo at the bottom and mail it back. Thanks!”

Don't Use Trite Expressions

No one likes to hear clichés and over-used words and phrases. It makes us sound insincere. Use words and phrases that come naturally—those you’d normally use in everyday conversation:

Overused:

“Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.”

Better:

“Thanks for your help. It'll make a big difference.”

Be Friendly

There's no law, except some old precedents, that says you have to be formal in business writing (“Attached herewith please find…”). One of your biggest challenges in our increasingly impersonal world is to convince people to cooperate with you and do business with you. People usually respond more easily when you keep things informal:

Formal:

“We are awaiting the receipt of your check in order to maintain your current credit standing.”

Friendly:

“To keep your credit in good standing, Mr. Brown, just send us your check for $48.75 today. Thanks.”

Add a Final Benefit

After you've made your request, close with a final benefit to the reader. People still won’t take action unless they see some specific benefit to themselves.”

Poor:

“Please call us when you’re ready to receive the shipment.”

Better:

“When you're ready to receive shipment, just give us a call. Then

you'll immediately qualify for the special insurance, the 90-day

warranty, and the no-cost service agreement."

Add a Personal Note

When you know the reader personally, write in a personal comment or two.

Example: “John, you and Betty will love the trip to the plant from the airport.

The road is smooth and the route takes you by a row of dogwood trees that you both enjoy so much. They should be in perfect bloom in two weeks. See you then.”